Today’s absolutely priceless blog is from Possum, a guest writer. Here he harkens back to a discussion we had earlier in the blog, in which was mentioned the Poppyism, “There’s no use in being a horse’s ass unless you can prove it.” Here he expertly examines the hidden gravity of the phrase:
While mowing the lawn last night, I had a chance to dwell on something that Kyle had shared with me. There is something about the sound of a Briggs & Stratton that brought on a new level of enlightenment. Let me share with you my newly found knowledge of this profound Poppy-ism: “There’s no use in being a horse’s ass if you can’t prove it.”
The beauty of this phrase is that one can easily call someone a horse’s ass and get away with it. The conundrum of being something and not being able to prove is so confusing that the horse’s ass never quite catches on. It has also occurred to me that this phrase is so flexible, it can be used in nearly any situation. I’ll borrow the triadic thought process from the philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel to describe how fully universal this phrase is.
Thesis Mode – Here we use the phrase to state the obvious as the facts present themselves.
Example: Ken does something really stupid. Then I say, “There’s no use in being a horse’s ass if you can’t prove it.”
Here sarcasm is used to express that Ken indeed has proved to be a horse’s ass by his actions.Antithesis Mode – Here we use the phrase to negate the obvious as the facts present themselves.
Example: Kyle comes up with a creative solution to a problem. Then I say, “There’s no use in being a horse’s ass if you can’t prove it.”
Here sarcasm is used to express that Kyle is a horse’s ass because he has taken an action that seems to have disproved this fact.Synthesis Mode – Here we use the phrase to point out a null case where no facts are present.
Example: I ask Lee, “What do you think about that?” Lee replies, “Hmmm”. Then I say, “There’s no use in being a horse’s ass if you can’t prove it.”
Here sarcasm is used to express that Lee, while taking an action, has done nothing to prove or disprove that he is a horse’s ass; but he is indeed a horse’s ass for riding the fence.
